post here the jokes. the best joke will be given an award.

let me start with one:

Santa Singh's Interview
Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of good.
Santa Singh: Bad.

Interviewer: Come.
Santa Singh: Go.

Interviewer: Ugly.
Santa Singh: Pichlli.

Interviewer: U G L Y?
Santa Singh: PICHLLY !!!!!!!

Interviewer: Shut Up.
Santa Singh: Keep Talking.

Interviewer: Get Out.
Santa Singh: Come In.

Interviewer: Oh my God.
Santa Singh: Oh your Devil.

Interviewer: You are Rejected.
Santa Singh: I am Selected

Sardar Santa Singh goes to a Udipi hotel to have something to eat. He orders for Masala Dosa. The waiter promptly gets him the dish but is surprised to see that Santa eats only the masala leaving the dosa behind.

Santa then orders for 1 plate Samosa. Again this time the waiter notices that Santa eats only the filling and not the shell. Waiter is very curious. Santa next orders for Batata Vada. This time around also Santa eats only the filling and leaves the shell behind.

The waiter is losing his patience and walking upto Santa asks him, "Sardarji, aap dish ke under ka hi cheez kyon khaa rahe ho, kya baki cheez pasand nahi aaya..?"(why are you eating the inside stuff don't you like the rest of it.)

Santa Singh says, "Arre bhaiyya, aisi baat nahi. Hamaari tabiyat kuch teekh nahi isliye doctor ne kaha ki baahar ka cheez mat khaya karo..."(I am not feeling so well so the doctor told me not to it outside stuff.)

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

please anybody comment on this discussion.

wah wah parh k kahun gi ok

man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

A: Why are all those people running?
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup?
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running?

A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.

Mind it! It’s Rajnikant!We all know Sir Isaac Newton, the man behind the laws of Physics and truly a scientist extraordinaire!! But you know what the universal laws of Physics were proven wrong and Newton was greatly disappointed.

Here’s the reason why Newton committed suicide…..

Once, Newton had come to India and he had watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. Here is how he was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk .

In the movie of Rajnikant, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:

1) Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant!

2) In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics!! The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops, not so fast!

The ‘climax’ finally arrives.

Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajnikant can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax.

(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)

Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton finally commits suicide…

Words are not enough to embellish the glory of Rajnikant, because there’s nothing Rajnikant can’t do!! So…MIND ITtt!!

Banta in classroom - Madam maine “abc” yaad karli..
Madam - Ok , to sunao..

Banta - abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz…..
Madam - Arey aise nahi ….aise suna A for apple

Banta - Ok Madam…. A for apple.

B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.

H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple

V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X’mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for yun na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo apple aur………..

So, let’s go to Banta and learn the new A, B, Cs from him, no more B for Ball, C for Cat, chill out, it’s time for Banta’s A, B, Cs! It’s not that hard to memorize them- An apple just makes its way for another apple and the chain goes on. Imagine the teacher’s expression after hearing Banta’s A, B, C…..Hats off to Banta!!

Fact #1: You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue

Fact #2: After reading the first fact, all crazy people try it

Fact #3: Fact#1 is false Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Fact #4: You're smiling right now bcoz u've just realised that u are a crazy person!!!

Fact #5: I wanted to try to drive all friends crazy... So I thought of sharing this with u all..........

Santa Curtains

Santa enters a store that sell curtains.

He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."

The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.

Santa replies, "Fifteen inches."

"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"

Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"

Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"[/color]

Dear Mr Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought acomputer for our home and we encountered some problems, which I want to bring toyour notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account andwhenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field.

We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.

I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what thepassword is.

2. We are not able to enter anything after we click the 'shut down 'button.

3. There's a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is 'Find' button but it is not functioning the right way. My wife lostthe door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find',but not able to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as i have to protect my 'mouse' fromCAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to protect from the cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are you coming to my home tocollect ur money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoftsentence', so when u will provide that?

10. Hey, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad there is only oneicon with 'MY Computer', where is remaining ?

11. And in 'MY Pictures' there is not even single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.

Thanks
Banta Singh.

Santa - "GOD"
Santa: People consider me as "God"

Banta: How do you know??

Santa: When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh God ! U’ve come again...

THIS ONE IS VERY GOOD READ IT AND COMMENT

Rajnikant-The Great.

==>Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.

==>When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

==>Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!

==>Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

==>Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

==>The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.

==>Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.

==>Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!

==>Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!

==>There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai!

==> Rajanikanth can build a snowman…. out of rain.

==> Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

==> Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

==> Rajanikanth can play the violin….on a piano.

==> When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,….he turns the dark off.

==> Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…. his heart lost.

==> Rajanikanth makes onions cry.

==> Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.

==> Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash.

==> Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

==> When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Caller: Hello, is this the Help Line?
HelpLine: Yes, it is. How may I help you?
Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?
HelpLine: I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?
Caller: Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer.
HelpLine: Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?
Caller: It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it.

At this point the HelpLine operator realized that the caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.

Ram and Sham were talking together

RAM:do you drink?
SHAM:no,no at all.
RAM:do you smoke?
SHAM:no,not at all.
RAM:do you do anything which is not socially acceptable?
SHAM:yes,I just tell lies.