Life in a... Metro

It’s the story of a couple of people – basically from a nouveau riche (new rich) background settled in a Metro City.

A aged lady – Nafisa – lives in the home for the aged. She receives a letter from her ex-flame (Dharmendra) who had left her waiting at the railway station some 40 years ago ! Probably after making money and trying his luck with the Ladies abroad and getting kicks from the pretty looking foreign ladies, he decided to come back to his ex-flame. In fact during the British rule and even after that – the Indian Doctors were not allowed to touch the skins of royal British family Ladies as they were considered ‘below their dignity’ – the British males could obviously understand the state of the below average looking (according to their standards)  dhoti-clad (lose clothing clad) Indian male’s mind. They were sure of their ‘standing dicks’ hidden behind their lose clothing and thus like any possessive and protective men – never allowed them to touch the bodies of their Ladies. (deep sigh) well a similar thing must have happened to Dharmendra – so he returns to his Indian ex-flame.

Nafisa had then reluctantly married some bloke and hesitantly ‘spread her legs’ to conceive and probably gave birth to couple of mongrels – to prove to the society that she was fertile and not barren !! Children grow up -you see- and can sense that their parents have just done them a great favor by ‘jumping nude on bed’ and bringing them forth !They grow up in a ‘loveless’ environment and thus when they become independent – they send away their parents to the Home  for the aged. This is exactly what happened to Nafisa. Anyways, she is bold enough and invites Dharmendra to her room – all alone….

The rest of the people residing in the Home admonished them ..and guess what – they elope like teenagers ! Dharmendra takes her to his flat and they both sleep together – on the same bed !

Next morning Nafisa dies – probably she couldn’t take the pressure…or ..well I don’t know what exactly was the reason !

This aged Lady was a moral support to Shilpa Shetty. Shilpa used to visit her at the Home for the aged. Now her story :

Shilpa Shetty is married to K.K Menon and has a daughter. She left working – a grave mistake – and depends on her husband to bring in the cash. Now folks since eons it has been fed into the male mind that if he has money he can get way with everything and that ppl who depend on him..his money actually - should accept him the way he is – there is no alternative.

Thus Menon starts having an affair with Neha who was basically a dumb bimbo sort of a woman who took the quick way up the corporate ladder – ie. ‘Spreading her legs’.In Call centers you just got to speak good English. In metro cities its really not a big deal because there are several convent schools where English is taught as first language….and Indian parents are thankgod-fully becoming a bit intelligent after all and understanding the necessity of spoken English – thus admitting their wards in English medium schools !!

Thus in such offices there is hardly any ‘performance’ as such required / or any other scope of growth is available– just speak English smoothly and sell the product over the phone.Thus Neha – a typical bimbo bitch kind of a woman sleeps her way up the corporate ladder. Her boss is Menon – Shilpa’s husband.

Shilpa is oblivious of the whole affair . Whenever she calls him, he makes an excuse of being in the office and having a whole lot of work load etc. thus their family life is in doldrums. Their daughter is shown as pretty ugly to look at -  who is silently observing the constant tiffs between her parents. This will turn out to be another headache later in life when the daughter will grow up but the men will still be ogling at her mother rather that admiring her !! Since Menon is not good to look at but Shilpa has a pretty face – their copulation product turned out to be ugly !!…a good choice made by the casting director I must say- showing the effect of dominant and recessive genes.

Now Shilpa meets a good looking divorcee – Shiny- when she goes to visit her moral support Nafisa. Shiny is a patriot at heart and tries to awaken people through Art and Drama – but fails miserably – for majority of people come to watch such dance dramas to catch a glimpse of the cleavage /waist/buttock of the girls seen on the stage – and never to learn from such dramas !!Thus dejected in life, he meets his perfect match in yet another dejected housewife Shilpa. They just meet each other – not hump – just meet and Shilpa was shown to be happy for a couple of days.

But one day, as luck would have it – she comes back home late after watching theater with her platonic lover and sees her daughter being taken to the hospital by an angry Menon. Menon could have utilized this time fucking Neha but the maid servant probably rang up Menon and asked him to come over immediately for his daughter (the unwanted / unloved mongrel born to them) was not well ! Thus Menon shows a lot of attitude to an already flustered Shilpa and takes her to the Hospital. Shilpa is made to feel guilty because of this episode.

Shilpa has a sister – Konkona – who in turn is Neha’s room mate. Neha knows that Shilpa is Konkona’s sister but that does not stop her from spreading her legs and fucking Shilpa’s husband !Such crass bitches exist in this World !!

Konkona is looking for a prospective groom for herself. She works in a Radio Station and secretly admires the RJ. The RJ is a gay and his gay partner is his Boss !RJ’s parents come to pay him a visit and RJ had to introduce a girl to them – thus he befriends Konkona and pretends he is in love with her and will marry her – thus Konkona is happy for a couple of days as well !But she soon finds out that RJ is a gay and leaves him. And leaves the job.

She gets a job elsewhere  and her reporting head turns out to be the guy she had met through a matrimonial site  but had rejected him. He is Irfan, a typically irritatingly dumb and daft Indian male. She goes around with him and helps him to do the shopping for his wife to- be who was chosen by his mother. After spending some time with him she becomes fond of him and decides to tie the knot with him after all – the dumber the males the better is the husband quality….or so it seems !

Konkona comes to know that Neha was sleeping with her brother-in-law and is heart broken.

Rahul is another character who works in the call center and secretly loves Neha. He comes to know that Neha is a part time ‘whore’ but still loves her. Along with working in the Call Centre, he also works as a Pimp – helping couples to ‘hump’ in his opulent apartment – I mean partial Pimp – he did not get girls for the clients. In real life of course such a character would have made enough money by even providing the ‘whore mongers’ with girls ! 

Neha asks Menon if he loves her or not and will he provide her the status of ‘wife’ ! Menon is shocked to hear this of course – already a dumb bimbo bitch of a wife was getting on his nerves and in spite of knowing the fact that he is betraying his wife, Neha still looked forward to become his wife !!- this is verily the reason why men fail to understand ‘dumb-bimbo’ kind of women – why they don’t understand the futility of marriage is what men don’t understand !!He takes out some cash and hands it over to her saying that ‘She has used him – instead of Him using her’!! and reminded her of the undeserving promotions she kept getting !!

This is another aspect of the Corporate World – a truly deserving , hard working, methodical candidate does not get promoted but is made to work like a sweeper all the time …whereas some bimbo bitch ,dumb and belonging to some utter crass family background gets promoted by just ‘spreading her legs’ ! – One of the reasons why India could not progress well in any field ! The true,decent workers are not dumb …so they gradually break off – either to sulk and be gloomy or join somewhere else….Another major reason for the Yin-Yang differentiation is because of such ‘shameless females’ belonging to greedy, uncouth families. You see women Bosses have not yet become as corrupt as male Bosses – so there is hardly any chance for some dumb male to make it to the top by ‘sleeping with the Boss’ – he actually has to perform and work real hard to earn money…but when such men see that some dumb ‘slut’ has suddenly become his Boss – it surely becomes intolerable – if he has even a wee bit of self respect ie.- thus men generally form a mental block regarding women and judge all women by their standards!! After all environment makes a man – so in such an environment men take to drugs, alcoholism etc and in some remote corner of this World – some decent girl keeps waiting for her Prince Charming to come. Little does she realize that her Prince Charming has become a drug addict and thinks that the whole world is full of ‘whores’ !!

Anyways, in the end Neha drops Menon and runs to Rahul – and Rahul accepts her ! This only happens in movies – in real life though – Rahul would have just ‘used and thrown’ her !!

Shilpa was about to have ‘The time of her life’ with Shiny in a dingy,damp apartment when Shiny’s friend comes in and ruins it all for her !! She runs away and says to Shiny that ‘She feels like a slut’ !(oh! what a dialogue..amazing, such females dress up like sluts – but you call them one and they’ll scream the roof off!)

Shilpa confesses to her husband that she was seeing a man Shiny – but had never slept with her ! Menon does not believe her – People judge others by their standards – and leaves her to be with Neha forever ! In the meantime Shiny tells Shilpa that he is ready to take the responsibility of the mongrel born to her through her equally ‘mongrelish’ hubby ! Shilpa is happy but her happiness is short lived ! Just when she was heading to accept Shiny – the divorcee , in comes her hubby Menon who had just been dumped by Neha ! Shilpa agrees to stay back !A  grave mistake – because there are many girls who are either shameless or come from poor family backgrounds - who don’t want to work hard – thus Menon will soon find another ‘Hump’ object instead of Neha and Shilpa will remain like a bitch serving him for life !! Anyways it was a lose-lose situation. Even if she had run away with Shiny – there was no guarantee that Shiny will not start ‘humping’ Shilpa’s daughter when she developed her breasts etc – coz’ after all he will never have any fatherly feeling for her ! Thus Shilpa probably makes this sacrifice – at least she was sure that Menon will not ‘hump’ his own daughter given so many Call Center dumb bimbo bitches loitering around him – and dying to get promoted without working hard !

SO this is the story of ‘Life in a Metro’.

Well folks, I also live in a Metro  and have worked in Corporate sectors – I personally never faced such a shameless situation in my life ! of course there are girls who go ahead themselves to sleep with the boss or other married colleague – but the percentage is meager – so this story is not applicable in Kolkata Metro….I am very optimistic actually  !