My spoiler alert is this : this movie will, when it finally ends, leave you with a raging desire to sue the entire crew for having robbed you of both time and money. I saw it  with the utter fascination and disbelief that only something entirely loathsome can evoke. There are no surpriseswhatsoever apart from the one big surprise that the Bollywood of Chak de and Taarezameenpar is still capable of producingsuch an offensive, predictable, hackneyed, chauvinistic and antediluvian film. 

The film begins with  Ajay Devgan dancing romantic Bollywood dances - alone- in a variety of settings wearing bright yellow shirts and pink socks.  Thenwe are taken tohis "studio" - which is about the size of Carnegie hall andwe learn that he is in love with a face that haunts him in his dream. (Touches of Shah Rukh in the much-better Dil Tho Pagal Hai ?)  In any case it seems a clear case for the shrink.

 Then we see a plane and are transported to "Buddha Pest" (seriously, that's what it sounds like) and then Devgan sees "The Face" (Koirala). He proceeds to express his romantic interest in her with the obsessiveness of a stalker which who richly deserves castration. And this is wherethe film begins to be genuinely offensive - in it implicit view that behaving improperly with a woman is acceptable if the man is "in love". 

The Face (and we should call her that because never once in the story is she a real woman) has its own story of having been involved, in New York,  to pop-eyed, bleary and expressionless Sanjay Dutt and of having slept with him. She didn't want to sleep with him first because he wanted her to and then she wanted to sleep with him because she wanted to and then e didn't want to any more  and somewhere there was talk of marriage and alas she is undone. And then there is the dramatic curse recalling the great epic curses of BR Chopra's Ramayan. Get serious - undone? In New York? 

Move to Rajasthan where we learn that Devgan is a prince and Dutt is his brother. 

And then there is this long and boring stretch  (supposedly "suspense") before they find out that they are "in love" with the same face and know her by different names. (Told you she wasn't real, didn't I?)

Ah, I said surely, this film is going to redeem itself and the woman will be asked to choose. But my hopes were quickly shattered. Although she demands a vote in her own affairs, ther two men bore us for another half hour trying to "give" her to one another. And then one dies, And she actually marries the other, thereby giving up  her final chance to redeem the film.

One thing is clear - Devgun, Dutt and Koirala have now sunk so low in my opinion, that I shall certainly avoid any of their films in the future.